Waiting. We usually don’t like to do it, even when we know what is at the end of that waiting time. But that seems to be most of our Christian lives. We live our lives waiting for God to do something. We wait for him to answer our prayers. We wait for him to make the world better. We wait for him to show us who we are supposed to marry or what job or career we are supposed to have or what house we are supposed to buy. We’re always wondering what we are supposed to do.
Even the disciples asked Jesus that question. In the Gospel of John, Jesus had just fed the Five Thousand and walked across the lake to the other side when the disciples discovered him. When they asked him how he got here, he responded,
“I tell you the truth, you are looking for me, not because you saw miraculous signs but because you ate the loaves and had your fill. Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. On him God the Father has placed his seal of approval.” (John 6:26-27)
He is saying here that the people following him are here because they are looking for something to eat; they are looking for immediate gratification. They don’t realize that he just fed 5,000 people (at least!) with only a few loaves of bread and a couple of fish. They just know they got something to eat: “You ate the loaves and had your fill.”
Jesus goes on to say that they should look beyond the food that spoils; they should look to the bigger picture, to what “endures to eternal life.” That really confused them! If you don’t think we should work for food that spoils, “What must we do to do the works God requires?” (John 6:28) They want to do the right thing, but they don’t know what it is. Isn’t that what we ask when we are waiting? “OK God, what do you want me to do? I can’t just sit here!”
Look what Jesus says: “The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent” (John 6:29). What?? Is that all?? All I have to do is believe? What does that mean? Do I just sit around all day saying, “I believe in God, I believe in God”? I want to know what to do! Maybe what God wants is that whatever we choose to do, we do it with a believing heart, a heart that trusts God, that he is working in us and through us, and that his will is being done as long as we do it trusting in his power and love.
So maybe we are supposed to be who God wants us to be and the doing will come as a result. Then maybe it will seem less like waiting.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
Being Focused
“I dare not urge you to your Cross. But He, more powerfully, speaks within you and me, to our truest selves, in our truest moments, and disquiets us with the world’s needs. By inner persuasions He draws us to a few very definite tasks, our tasks, God’s burdened heart particularizing his burdens in us. And He gives us the royal blindness of faith, and the seeing eye of a sensitized soul, and the grace of unflinching obedience. Then we see that nothing matters, and that everything matters, and that this my task matters for me and for my fellow men and for Eternity.”
—Thomas Kelly, A Testament of Devotion
This is the opening quote in a lesson from a small group Bible study I've been leading on Heart Renewal. This particular lesson is called “The Renewal of Focus.”
I wonder if this quote is what inspired Frederick Buechner to say (and I’m paraphrasing) that our calling is where our deepest desires coincide with the world’s deepest needs; that’s what I hear Thomas Kelly saying here. God disturbs our comfort and complacency, the deep part of our hearts, with the world’s needs. When we are feeling uncomfortable, for example, seeing children, not only in Africa, but in our own hometowns, not having enough to eat, we should pay attention to that inner voice. When we feel unhappy or concerned that a particular group of people, for example, artists or women or singles, aren’t being treated well, especially by the church, we should pay attention to that inner discomfort.
It is not just our being disquieted or disturbed by the world’s needs. The very next sentence says that “He draws us to a few very definite tasks, our tasks, God’s burdened heart particularizing his burdens in us.” I love that idea! They really aren’t our burdens, are they? They are God’s burdens that He is willing to share with us. It reminds me of Ephesians 2:10 which says, “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them” (NASB). If we let Him, God will let us in on the work He wants done. He knows the situation and has prepared it and us to meet up—that is, if we are willing to let God lead us.
I have been using the word “we” here a lot, and I very definitely include myself in that we. I also need to keep my own focus on God, on the disturbances He puts in my heart, and on following the way He leads.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Holy Discontent
I’ve been leading a women’s Bible Study at the church my husband and I attend in Redmond, WA. It’s not a complicated study nor does it appear very deep when one first looks through the guide itself. It is a study called Heart Renewal: Finding Spiritual Refreshment (currently out of print). Initially I thought it would be a “light” study, one that the women could benefit from without necessarily putting a lot into. It utilizes texts from various places in the Bible rather than going through one book, so it just didn’t seem like it would be that taxing. With lots of other summer activities, I wanted to “lure” the women to this study by promising them it wouldn’t be that hard—what about “refreshment” doesn’t sound light and easy??
To a certain extent that has been true. There are only ten to twelve questions that can be answered in 45 minutes or less. But they are not just surface questions. They open up little slits in your soul to let in the Holy Spirit who goes to work in His own stealth way.
The introductory study in the guide is called “Holy Discontent,” a look at Hannah and how she responded to her unhappiness at being barren (1 Samuel 1:1-20; 2:1-10). The quote at the beginning of the study is from a book by George MacDonald. The first sentence intrigued me:
“Of all things let us avoid the false refuge of a weary collapse, a hopeless yielding to things as they are.”
Can’t you just feel the weight of that on your shoulders? “… a hopeless yielding to things as they are.” It seems like so many people feel that way nowadays. We feel powerless to change things; we can even feel that our situation is just plain, old hopeless. But here is a woman who had had enough. Elkanah’s other wife had lots of children and Hannah had none. The other wife was always making fun of Hannah and pointing out to her that she was not carrying out her “wifely duties” so she had very little worth to society at that point. The sad part is that Hannah endured this provoking for many years; and she would endure it to the point of tears.
Until one day. Hannah had finally had enough. When she and her family went to the temple to make the ritual sacrifices, she took her unhappiness, her discontent, to God. The Bible says, “In bitterness of soul, Hannah wept much and prayed to the Lord.” She didn’t let her discontent fester any more. She finally took it to God and asked Him to do something!
In the end, God met her in her unhappiness. He provided her with a son, who she promised to dedicate to the service of the Lord. When he was born she named him Samuel. He became a prophet, the one who eventually identified David to become the king of Israel. His line is where Jesus came from. Imagine if she had been content to be harassed and just lived her life in bitterness?
“However,” you may say, “I have been discontent and prayed to the Lord about my situation and nothing has changed! What about me?” You’re in good company! Paul had the same issue. In his second letter to the Corinthians he says with some hindsight,
“To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me…. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)
Just because we ask doesn’t mean that our prayer will be answered the way we want it to be answered. What God wants more than anything is that we come to Him with our discontent; we don’t let it sit and make us more and more bitter. He wants us to be in relationship with Him, not off in a corner crying by ourselves! Hannah and Paul had it right. They were both very unhappy with the way things were in their lives. But they went to the Father and told Him how unhappy they were, and God remedied the situation by bringing them closer to Himself. Hannah was given the son she wanted, but Paul was not relieved of that thorn in the flesh. But he was drawn into a deeper relationship with God the Father.
If you’re discontent, talk to the Father!
To a certain extent that has been true. There are only ten to twelve questions that can be answered in 45 minutes or less. But they are not just surface questions. They open up little slits in your soul to let in the Holy Spirit who goes to work in His own stealth way.
The introductory study in the guide is called “Holy Discontent,” a look at Hannah and how she responded to her unhappiness at being barren (1 Samuel 1:1-20; 2:1-10). The quote at the beginning of the study is from a book by George MacDonald. The first sentence intrigued me:
“Of all things let us avoid the false refuge of a weary collapse, a hopeless yielding to things as they are.”
Can’t you just feel the weight of that on your shoulders? “… a hopeless yielding to things as they are.” It seems like so many people feel that way nowadays. We feel powerless to change things; we can even feel that our situation is just plain, old hopeless. But here is a woman who had had enough. Elkanah’s other wife had lots of children and Hannah had none. The other wife was always making fun of Hannah and pointing out to her that she was not carrying out her “wifely duties” so she had very little worth to society at that point. The sad part is that Hannah endured this provoking for many years; and she would endure it to the point of tears.
Until one day. Hannah had finally had enough. When she and her family went to the temple to make the ritual sacrifices, she took her unhappiness, her discontent, to God. The Bible says, “In bitterness of soul, Hannah wept much and prayed to the Lord.” She didn’t let her discontent fester any more. She finally took it to God and asked Him to do something!
In the end, God met her in her unhappiness. He provided her with a son, who she promised to dedicate to the service of the Lord. When he was born she named him Samuel. He became a prophet, the one who eventually identified David to become the king of Israel. His line is where Jesus came from. Imagine if she had been content to be harassed and just lived her life in bitterness?
“However,” you may say, “I have been discontent and prayed to the Lord about my situation and nothing has changed! What about me?” You’re in good company! Paul had the same issue. In his second letter to the Corinthians he says with some hindsight,
“To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me…. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)
Just because we ask doesn’t mean that our prayer will be answered the way we want it to be answered. What God wants more than anything is that we come to Him with our discontent; we don’t let it sit and make us more and more bitter. He wants us to be in relationship with Him, not off in a corner crying by ourselves! Hannah and Paul had it right. They were both very unhappy with the way things were in their lives. But they went to the Father and told Him how unhappy they were, and God remedied the situation by bringing them closer to Himself. Hannah was given the son she wanted, but Paul was not relieved of that thorn in the flesh. But he was drawn into a deeper relationship with God the Father.
If you’re discontent, talk to the Father!
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Is Blogging for Me?
Blogs. They are everywhere. I myself am a faithful follower of many blogs. So when I started thinking, “Is blogging for me?” I wondered if I had anything to add to the blogging world. It feels pretty daunting: Where do I start? What do I say? What do I even think that is important enough to share?
Theological observations, musings, and reflections are what I intend to contribute. In preparing to be a pastor, in the end I hope I am following in Eugene Peterson’s footsteps, who said, as he spoke to an audience in Seattle, “I wrote not to tell anyone anything, but to discover how to work with a congregation. I wrote to find out how to be a pastor.” I’m writing to discover what I think and how that connects with and influences what I do.
I love the arts, and that will certainly be included in this blog, musings on the arts, theology, spirituality, following Jesus.
So there it is. I hope you’ll join me on what will be for me an “adventure of discovery.” I hope it will be for you as well.
Theological observations, musings, and reflections are what I intend to contribute. In preparing to be a pastor, in the end I hope I am following in Eugene Peterson’s footsteps, who said, as he spoke to an audience in Seattle, “I wrote not to tell anyone anything, but to discover how to work with a congregation. I wrote to find out how to be a pastor.” I’m writing to discover what I think and how that connects with and influences what I do.
I love the arts, and that will certainly be included in this blog, musings on the arts, theology, spirituality, following Jesus.
So there it is. I hope you’ll join me on what will be for me an “adventure of discovery.” I hope it will be for you as well.
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